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Monday, April 7, 2025

An Emergency Preparedness Checklist for Trying Times

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know I’ve shared different forms, or genres, of writing. Some examples of these are the following:
With this blog entry, I’m adding to that catalog by posting a checklist.

About Checklists

Checklists are used for a wide variety of topics. Some types of checklists you might be most familiar with from your personal life include a shopping list, a to-do list, or a packing list. In the work world, many industries use checklists, such as safety checklists in transportation industries, performance checklists in the human resources field, or procedural checklists in the medical field. Innumerable types of checklists are commonly used in daily life. If you’re interested in learning more about the history and current use of checklists, I suggest checking out articles published by TechBullion, Canva, and the Hawaii International Conference on System Science. The type of checklist I’m offering is an emergency preparedness checklist.

Types of Emergencies: Natural Disasters, Armed Conflicts, Health Crises, Theft

Lately I’ve been sensitive to emergencies of many kinds. For example, natural disasters seem increasingly common. Last year, Hurricane Helene wreaked havoc not far from where I live in western North Carolina. This brought back memories of when I lived in Rhode Island and the eyes of Hurricane Gloria and Hurricane Bob passed over my family’s house. Just a few months ago, raging wildfires devastated the Los Angeles area. And these are just a few examples. The Global Disaster Alert and Coordination System shares information about natural disaster alerts that have been issued around the world for earthquakes, tropical cyclones, floods, volcano eruptions, droughts, and forest fires. At any one time, this website lists close to 100 events that have occurred over the past several months. That’s a lot of natural disasters! When might the next one strike where you live?

Another type of emergency that’s drawing my attention is war. In the US, the war between Russia and Ukraine is in the news practically on a daily basis. Similarly, the latest flare up in the long conflict between Israel and the Palestinians gets a lot of news coverage. The United States recently attacked Yemen in retaliation for its attacks on ships passing by its borders. But these are not the only armed conflicts occurring right now. According to the Academy of International Humanitarian Law and Human Rights based in Geneva, Switzerland, there are over 100 armed conflicts happening in the world today. While it may seem far-fetched to imagine war breaking out in the United States, it’s not unprecedented. As listed by ThoughtCo., wars that have taken place on American land include King Philip’s War, the Cherokee War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and the Civil War. We’ve also seen plenty of violent civil unrest on our soil that, while not resulting in full-fledged war, has been catastrophic for those involved. While Wikipedia isn’t always the most reliable source, it contains the most comprehensive accounting of American civil unrest I could find, listing close to 400 events in the 240 years between 1783 and 2023. Could such types of violence lead to war in the United States? According to Science, as of 2022, almost half of all Americans expected a civil war to erupt in the next few years. Given such an environment, taking steps to be prepared seems wise.

Then there are health emergencies, such as epidemics, pandemics, or personal health crises, that can strike at any time. The COVID-19 pandemic was declared a health emergency five years ago, and we are still feeling its effects. According to ABC News, there were 2,100 COVID-19 deaths in the United States in January 2025, with another 761 worldwide. The COVID-19 pandemic has been so deadly that Live Science lists it among the worst 21 pandemics in global history. With rising numbers of measles deaths reported in the US, Europe, Africa, and Asia and cases of bird flu being found in humans, health concerns are making the news. And such widespread health concerns don’t account for personal health emergencies. Are you ready for the aftermath if you have to be rushed to the hospital due to a life-threatening situation?

Finally, there are emergencies due to theft, including identity theft, to be prepared for. If your wallet were stolen, for example, would you know your driver’s license number and how to contact your state’s department of motor vehicles? What about how to contact the customer service departments of your credit card companies? Or your bank, assuming you have a debit/ATM card in your wallet? And this is just a few impacts having your wallet stolen could have. What other cards do you keep in your wallet? And what about other kinds of theft? For example, fears of identity theft have risen recently, with both National Public Radio (NPR) and the Washington Post covering the risk to personal data due to actions the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has taken lately. Do you know what to do either to protect yourself from nefarious uses of your data before it happens or to recover from malicious use of your personal data after identity theft occurs?

Why and How I Created This Checklist

Perhaps this foregoing litany of possible emergencies stresses you out. Me too! But note: taking action in the face of a stressful situation can be soothing. In an article published in Psychology Today, Dr. Esther Sternberg, an expert in the mind-body connection, recommended the three-step process of “parse, prioritize, and act.” Step one is “break the situation down into its smallest controllable parts.” Step two is “decide which of the parts is easier to control….” And step three is “take action.” Hopefully the checklist I’ve come up with will help you follow her steps!
 
“Let’s DO this” checklist (Pixabay/Gerd Altmann “geralt”)

One note about this checklist: I developed it using my own ideas and a few checklists I found online, namely ones published by the American Red Cross, AARP, Lifehacker, Consumer Reports, PCMag, and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), although it’s worth noting that the FEMA checklist may disappear from the web, as reports by Government Executive, CNN, and CBS News, among others, indicate the agency is set for elimination or a major reorganization. If it does disappear from the web, you can look for it on the internet archive at https://archive.org/. I’m sure there are other checklists available, too. Hopefully the checklist I’ve come up with is comprehensive, but if you find anything I’ve missed, let me know!

Emergency Preparedness Checklist

This checklist is broken down into categories: packaging, food and water, clothing, toiletries, medicines and medical paperwork, identification and ownership paperwork, finances and financial paperwork, insurance paperwork, electronics, vehicles and appliances, and comfort items. When it comes to paperwork, aim to keep three copies of all documents: a local hard copy, a local digital copy protected by password, and a remote digital copy protected by password (some remote copies might be stored by providers, such as medical providers, banks, credit card companies, etc.).

Depending on the type of emergency you want to prepare for, you may decide to collect only some of the recommended materials at any one time. This is because while it might be helpful to be prepared for all types of emergencies, some of the materials required to prepare for an imminent natural disaster, for example, might not make sense to stockpile too far in advance, such as food and water, both of which can spoil over time. Therefore, I suggest keeping the checklist handy and preparing as much as possible in advance, saving only a small number of items to organize should a last minute emergency situation arise.

You should review this checklist annually or any time you make a major life change, such as moving, getting a new job, finding a new doctor, or the like, and appraise the items you have prepared, updating or refreshing as needed (such as paperwork, stale batteries, expired foods, etc.).

Packaging
o For food and water in an evacuation emergency, one or more medium-sized, durable, portable containers such as reusable shopping totes, crates with handles, or wheeled carts
o For clothing, toiletries, and medicines in an evacuation emergency, a medium-sized, durable, portable, zip-up container such as a backpack, duffle bag, or roller bag
o For electronics in an evacuation emergency, a durable, portable, zip-up container such as an electronics organizer, tech pouch, messenger bag, or backpack (you may choose to keep several smaller electronics and accompanying cords in their own organizers or pouches within a larger bag or backpack)
o For documents in either an evacuation or shelter-in-place emergency, a water resistant, fire resistant, durable, portable, sealable container, such as a zippered document bag, zippered briefcase, or lidded box with handles (note that while resealable plastic food bags are fine for providing water resistance, they won’t help with fire resistance)

Food and water
o For an evacuation emergency, at least three days of food and water
o For a shelter-in-place emergency, at least two weeks of food and water
o One gallon of water per person per day (for shelter-in-place, fill bathtubs or washing machine for flushing toilets in addition to stockpiling bottled water for drinking)
o Easy to prepare nonperishable foods (such as cereals, instant oatmeal, crackers, breads, protein bars, protein powders, nuts, nut butters, dried fruits, dried meats, canned goods, freeze dried meals, and shelf-stable or powdered milks—for shelter-in-place with a generator or outdoor grill, perishable foods can be an option)
o Pet foods
o Manual can opener
o Pair of scissors and/or sharp knife
o Eating utensils
o Dishware (for evacuation emergencies, non-breakable, lightweight is best)
o Cookware (for evacuation emergencies, a small, multi-use pot or pan is best)

Clothing
o This section is mostly applicable to evacuation emergencies, as you will have access to all your clothing in a shelter-in-place emergency; however, if you keep off-season items in storage, make sure you can access those items at will
o Cold weather—hat, gloves/mittens, snow boots, parka or other warm jacket
o Warm weather—sun hat, sunglasses, rain boots, rain coat
o Layerable shirts and tops of easy-care, durable fabrics
o Pants/shorts (depending on weather) of easy-care, durable fabrics
o Pajamas
o Blanket (fleece is a good lightweight yet warm option useful year-round)
o Socks (woolen or synthetic wool for cold weather)
o Undergarments
o Pet blanket/sweater/coat/booties/leash/carrier

Toiletries
o For evacuation emergencies, travel size products to last at least three days
o For shelter-in-place emergencies, enough supplies on hand to last two weeks
o Body soap/cleanser
o Shampoo and conditioner
o Deodorant
o Toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash
o Hair styling products (including comb or brush and hair ties for long hair)
o Body and facial moisturizer
o Sunscreen
o Shaving products
o Feminine products
o Facial tissue
o Toilet paper/diapers/adult incontinence supplies
o Washcloth, hand towel, and bath towel (made of quick-dry material if possible)

Medicines and medical paperwork
o For evacuation emergencies, travel size products are recommended
o First aid kit (adhesive bandages of various sizes, gauze pads of various sizes, adhesive cloth tape, antiseptic ointment, antiseptic wipes, hand sanitizer, non-latex gloves, hydrocortisone ointment, tweezers, thermometer, instant cold pack, N95 or KN95 face masks, COVID/flu tests)
o Prescription and daily over-the-counter medications to last two weeks (including for pets)
o Over the counter pain relievers to last two weeks
o Bug repellant (including flea collar/treatment for pets)
o Contact lenses and supplies/extra glasses
o Medical equipment (such as CPAP machine, oxygen tank, syringes, diabetic testing supplies) to last two weeks—portable versions for evacuation emergencies
o List of all doctors with contact information (including veterinarian for pets)
o Pharmacy contact information
o List of all prescription medications including date of prescription, prescription number, prescriber name, and dose (including for pets)
o Vision prescription information, including prescriber name and date
o Medical history including immunizations, screenings, allergies, surgeries, chronic conditions (including for pets)
o Disability documentation
o List of medical equipment suppliers and contact information
o Advance directive and medical/healthcare power of attorney

Identification and ownership paperwork
o Driver’s license (original and digital copy of front and back)
o Social Security card (original and digital copy of front and back)
o Passport (original and digital copy of first two pages)
o Naturalization documents
o Green card (original and digital copy of front and back)
o Birth certificate
o Adoption certificate
o Child custody documents
o School registration forms
o School ID (original and digital copy of front and back)
o Pet adoption certificate/ID tags/microchip information
o Service animal/emotional support animal certification
o Marriage license
o Divorce decree
o Military/veteran identification and records (including DD214, duty stations and assignments, medals and decorations, qualifications, licenses, certificates)
o Federal employment records (including SF50 and other items in your Official Personnel Folder, or OPF)
o Car title
o Home/property deed, rental lease, or elder care housing agreement
o Photographs of interior and exterior of home
o Photographs of household belongings
o Appraisals of personal property
o Will/estate plan and contact information for lawyer
o Church/house of worship membership documentation and contact information
o List of contact information of loved ones and essential business colleagues (don’t rely only on the contact list in your cell phone or in your email in case your phone or computer is lost, damaged, or loses power—include phone number, email address, physical address)

Finances and financial paperwork
o For evacuation emergencies, enough cash in a variety of bill sizes to last at least three days
o For shelter-in-place emergencies, enough cash in a variety of bill sizes to last at least two weeks
o Credit card numbers and contact information
o Debit card numbers and contact information
o Bank account numbers and contact information
o Retirement account numbers and contact information
o Investment account numbers and contact information
o Government benefits information (most recent Social Security statement of earnings, enrollment paperwork for TANF, SNAP, VA, etc.)
o Loan agreements and payment receipts (home, vehicle, student, etc.)
o Alimony payment agreement and receipts
o Child support payment agreement and receipts
o Property tax statement and receipt
o Vehicle tax statement and receipt
o Income tax statement and receipt (to apply for an emergency loan, you may need up to the most recent three years, but in general, you should keep the most recent seven years—you might keep the most recent three years in your evacuation emergency kit and the next older four years in your shelter-in-place kit)
o Employment contract, most recent paystub, and employer contact information
o Utility account numbers and contact information (water, gas, electric, cable, internet, cell phone, etc.)
o List of accounts paid with automatic debit from your bank account, such as memberships, utilities, rent, mortgage, credit cards, etc.—if you’re unable to work during an emergency and stop receiving income, you’ll likely need to turn off automatic debit to avoid overdrafts of your bank account and make other arrangements with creditors to pay your bills
o FICO Score and copy of most recent credit report (these can be obtained weekly from https://www.annualcreditreport.com/—find out more about the program at https://consumer.ftc.gov/consumer-alerts/2023/10/you-now-have-permanent-access-free-weekly-credit-reports—if this page has been removed due to government restructuring, you can check for it on the internet archive at https://archive.org/)
o For an identity theft emergency, place a fraud alert and/or freeze on your credit (find out how at https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/credit-freeze-or-fraud-alert-whats-right-your-credit-report— if this page has been removed due to government restructuring, you can check for it on the internet archive at https://archive.org/—note that if you already have a freeze on your credit and need to apply for a loan due to natural disaster or other type of emergency, you’ll have to lift the freeze before any loan requests can be processed)
o Rewards account numbers and contact information (frequent flyer, hotel rewards, grocery rewards, etc.)
o Durable financial power of attorney and contact information for lawyer and financial planner

Insurance paperwork
o Health plan account number and contact information
o Medicare plan account number and contact information
o Medicaid plan account number and contact information
o Dental plan account number and contact information
o Vision plan account number and contact information
o Pharmacy plan account number and contact information
o Disability plan account number and contact information
o Long-term care plan account number and contact information
o Life insurance plan account number and contact information
o Funeral insurance plan account number and contact information
o Homeowners/rental/condo/co-op insurance plan account number and contact information
o Flood insurance plan account number and contact information
o Fire insurance plan account number and contact information
o Earthquake insurance plan account number and contact information
o Vehicle insurance plan account number and contact information (including car, truck, boat, motorcycle, RV, etc.)
o Business insurance plan account number and contact information
o Commercial property insurance plan account number and contact information
o Pet insurance plan account number and contact information

Electronics
o Flashlight, headlamp, or lantern and batteries (using your cell phone flashlight briefly is ok, but long use can drain its battery)
o Radio with weather band and batteries
o Cell phone and chargers (both car charger and wall charger)
o Laptop/tablet and charger
o Flash drive or external hard drive
o Power strip with surge protector
o Portable charger or power bank

Vehicles and Appliances
o Vehicle in good working order
o Vehicle fuel
o Paper or offline maps
o Cooking appliances in good working order (for shelter-in-place emergencies)
o Portable stove (for evacuation emergencies)
o Cooking fuel (for home or portable appliances)
o Generator/portable generator
o Generator fuel

Comfort items
o Note: these items are NOT essential but can help with mental health—if preparing for a shelter-in-place emergency, entertainment items can keep boredom at bay, and if preparing for an evacuation emergency, grabbing a few key sentimental items on the way out the door can help soothe your emotions)
o Entertainment (such as hardcopy or downloaded books or magazines with e-reader, downloaded or hardcopy videos with player, downloaded or hard copy card games, downloaded or hard copy word games, downloaded or hard copy jigsaw puzzles, children’s toys, pet toys)
o Keepsakes (such as family photos or other mementos)
o Child’s favorite stuffed animal/blanket
o Pet’s favorite toy/blanket

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Author Spotlight: Katie Karlovitz

I’m pleased to share another post in my author spotlight series. This time joining Daniel Paliwoda, Jen Pitts, Liza Woodruff, Algernon D’Ammassa, Charlie Bertsch, Jayne Conway, and Kristen Welch is Katie Karlovitz. We met through a Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) alumni virtual networking event, and I’m so glad we did!

Before I knew her, Katie started her professional life as a stage and screen actor after receiving her degree in drama from CMU. Anyone who knows anything about theater training knows CMU has one of the best drama programs there is. Some of the famous actors to have graduated from the program and who are profiled on its website include Ted Danson, Holly Hunter, Judith Light, Leslie Odom, Jr., Billy Porter, and Blair Underwood. Katie certainly studied among the best, and her talents show it!

Among Katie’s stage and screen acting credits, as listed on IMDb, are the movies Creepshow and Passed Away, and she has also done voice work, including as narrator on the documentary Langmuir’s World, about the Nobel Prize winning chemist Irving Langmuir. Not only has she both acted in movies and done movie narration, but, as noted on her website devoted to her voiceover work, she has also narrated a wide range of television commercials and other videos, as well as several books.

As if this impressive career weren’t enough, Katie is also a public speaking coach. The coaching company she owns and operates is called On Speaking Terms, and this is where Katie and I have a professional overlap. With my background in rhetoric and her background in performance, we’re both interested in communicating with an audience.

Actor, public speaking coach, and author Katie Karlovitz. (LinkedIn/Katie Karlovitz) 


In her coaching company, she’s worked with such power-hitting clients as the ACLU, CitiGroup, WebMD, and Campbells, to name a few. She’s also taught public speaking, communication, and script writing courses at the Pratt Institute, The New School, and Chatham University, among others. You can find all of this information and more on the About page of her On Speaking Terms website.

Perhaps most relevant to this blog entry, though, is her authorship of the book It’s Not About You, It’s About Your Message: How to Hook and Hold Any Audience. This book is full of useful advice when it comes to public speaking, such as the importance of rehearsing and how to bring style to your performance. In the interview that follows, which we edited collaboratively, she reflects on her experience with writing this book as well as with writing her blog entries.

If you’d like to know more about Katie, you can reach out to her on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, or her website. I hope you enjoy meeting Katie through her interview and learning about her thoughts on writing. As ever, feel free to leave a comment at the end of this blog entry to let me know what you think!

When did you first know you might become an author?

Good question—it was probably when I realized I’d been taking notes on the same subject for 25+ years!

What or who motivates you to write?

I’m motivated to write by a genuine desire to help people overcome their fear of speaking in public.

What is your favorite part of your writing process and what do you most like about it?

My favorite part of writing is getting into a rhythm and feeling my writing chops getting stronger. Sometimes I’ll read something and say “Oh, did I write this?” (Note from Karen—if you’re not familiar with the term “chops” in this context, the Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as “the technical facility of a musical performer” or “expertise in a particular skill or activity.” Katie in a follow-up conversation said that “when musicians are playing well,” we might say “their chops are up,” and similarly, when she’s writing well, she feels her “writing chops are up.”)

Where do you do most of your writing and why is that your chosen place?

I start in my back room, which is filled with light. The room is nice because it has a lot of windows, and you see a lot of the sky all around. It’s very sunny when it’s sunny outside, and it has no electronics, so it’s sort of a very pure space. I begin with an artist’s drawing pad, which has no lines. I use colored pencils. Then I move to my desktop.

Whose books do you most like to read and why?

I’ve been in my Book Club for 35 years and enjoy the wide variety of subjects and genres. I’m especially fond of contemporary Irish writers for some reason. Donal Ryan is fabulous. He wrote a book called The Queen of Dirt Island, which I quite like.

What advice do you have for aspiring authors?

Combine your writing with other activities that inspire and fulfill you…good movies, spending time in nature, art, playing/watching sports, cooking. Know your ideal time of day to write and length of time. For me, 3-4 hours of writing at a time is maximum.

Anything else you'd like to share?

A good editor is invaluable.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Amy Tan and a Love of Birding

I’m again interrupting my blog series profiling authors I personally know, this time to focus on an author I don’t personally know, Amy Tan, and her recent book The Backyard Bird Chronicles. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m an avid reader, and I’ve previously spotlighted several famous authors whose works I’ve enjoyed reading: Seamus Heaney, John Kerry, Madeleine L’Engle, Anne Tyler, and Joy Harjo. I’ve also written about authors of Korean literature that I’ve enjoyed. So this post should fit right in with those previous ones.

I’ve also mentioned before that I enjoy the hobby of birding. What a great coincidence, then, that an author whose works I’ve enjoyed previously has written a book about birding! I waited what felt like a long time for my local library to have the book in circulation, but finally it was there, and I dove into the reading.

Bur first, for those who aren’t familiar with Amy Tan, here’s some background. I’ve read all of her novels to date: The Valley of Amazement, Saving Fish from Drowning, The Bonesetter’s Daughter, The Hundred Secret Senses, The Kitchen God’s Wife, and The Joy Luck Club, which is probably her most famous novel since it was made into a movie. All of these books are profiled on her website. She’s also written two memoirs, Where the Past Begins and The Opposite of Fate, and two children’s books, Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat and The Moon Lady, and these are also profiled on her website.

Amy Tan (Library of Congress 2020 National Book Festival/Julian Johnson)


As for The Backyard Bird Chronicles, it could be considered a type of memoir, as it recounts Amy Tan’s experience of backyard birding from September 16, 2017, through December 15, 2022. However, while a memoir tends to emphasize the author as the main focus of the book, in this book, the birds she watches take the starring role, so in that way, we could say the book is a nature guide. It’s not that simple, though, as she provides narrative descriptions not only of the bird behaviors but also of her reactions to them, so in that way, she is the medium through which we learn about the birds, placing her in a primary role and making the case to place this book in the category of memoir. Is there a genre of book called “nature guide memoir”? If so, this would fit there.

David Allen Sibley, renowned expert on birds and gifted bird illustrator, captured the complexity involved in classifying the genre of this book when he described the book this way in his foreword:
On the surface, this book is a nature journal; a collection of delightfully quirky, thoughtful, and personal observations of birds in sketches and words. Writing, like drawing, works best when it simplifies the complex, using just the essential words and phrases to show us the outline of a scene and convey an idea or a feeling, and Amy Tan, of course, is a master of that art. The drawings and essays in this book do a lot more than just describe the birds. They carry a sense of discovery through observation and drawing, suggest the layers of patterns in the natural world, and emphasize a deep personal connection between the watcher and the watched. (xi)
Whatever we call its genre, The Backyard Bird Chronicles was a pleasure to read and provided insights into both Tan and birds throughout. For example, I learned that Tan is a great visual artist in addition to a great writer. There are 34 full-page color portraits drawn by Tan included in the book (33 of birds and one of a Western Gray Squirrel, the bane of many a backyard birdwatcher for its raids on birdfeeders). In addition to these portraits, the book includes additional drawings, mostly in color, on the 91 reproduced pages from her journal, as well as 6 black-and-white sketches. That’s a lot of drawing for someone who’s known primarily as an author!

In her preface, Tan is humble about her drawing skills, noting,
I still have much I want to learn how to do, like backgrounds as context and flying birds at takeoff and landing. As is, the feather structure I’ve drawn for a number of birds would have kept real ones land bound. From my not estimating the size of birds to the size of the page, tails and wings run off the edges into the gutters….I gave the birds big cartoon eyes…. (xvii)
In my estimation, her drawings are highly skilled, especially the full-page portraits. Even the black-and-white sketches exceed anything I would be able to produce.

As for learning about birds, I found it interesting that the birds Tan writes about are all found on the US West Coast. She mentions that she and her husband live in New York and California, but the bird observations this book captures are all from her time in California. I’ve lived in Arizona, so I’ve been introduced to some of the same birds Tan focuses on in the book, but most of my birding has happened in the Upper Great Plains and the East Coast, so many of the birds she writes about in the book are not birds I’m familiar with. Nonetheless, even though their appearance in unlike birds I’m more used to, their behaviors are similar. Which birds are dominant at the feeder? Which birds take just one seed at a time from the feeder before flying off, and which sit for long spells feeding themselves? Which feed off the ground and which feed off hanging feeders? Which fly off at the first sight of a human and which watch humans curiously? The names of birds might be different, but an Anna’s Hummingbird on the West Coast seems to behave similarly to a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird on the East Coast, for example. (Speaking of hummingbirds, I never knew it was possible to feed them out of your hand as Amy Tan does!)

Tan writes about her experiences with taking nature journaling classes from John Muir Laws, which reminded me of birding classes I took through the Fargo Parks District. She writes about a then-13-year-old girl, Fiona Gillogly, who she met on the fieldtrips she took through these classes and who impressed her with her bird knowledge, which reminded me of a similarly aged boy in my Fargo Parks District birding classes who seemed to me like a bird genius. She also collects a list of birds she’s seen in her yard, which numbers 62, an activity that will be familiar to most birders. I’ve kept bird lists in many of the places I’ve lived. Some people keep life lists, a compilation of every bird seen throughout a person’s life.

Throughout the book, Tan documents the ups and downs of birding: injured birds, sick birds, the joy of seeing a previously unseen bird for the first time. She tells of shopping for birdseed and of making homemade birdfeeders. Of shooing away neighborhood cats and of trying to keep her lapdog safe from owls. Of learning to identify birdsongs. For anyone who enjoys birding, the book will be relatable, and for anyone interested in starting with birding, the book will provide an entry into the daily experiences one can expect. I highly recommend it!

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Honoring Mental Wellness Month by Focusing on Relationship Abuse

I’m interrupting my blog series profiling authors I personally know to commemorate Mental Wellness Month. As the American Brain Coalition lists on its calendar of events, the month of January is Mental Wellness Month. I’ve previously dedicated several blog posts to mental health matters: I wrote in 2020 about strategies for coping with the COVID-19 emergency, and I’ve written a few times about preventing suicide, once in 2022, at which point four people I knew had died of suicide, and once in 2023, when that number had increased to five. But mental wellness isn’t just about emergency situations or preventing suicide. It’s so much more.

Mental wellness and disruptions to it are with us every day, just like physical wellness and its disruptions. However, in US society, as in many others, discussing mental wellness is often stigmatized. Many factors contribute to this stigma, and I could write an entire blog post about them. Maybe I’ll do that another time. For now, though, it’s enough to know that the stigma around discussing mental wellness is frequently a barrier to achieving mental wellness. That’s why the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has developed its StigmaFree program, designed to help workplaces normalize discussions about mental wellness.   

 Noticing differences in how your coworker feels, acts, thinks, or looks? Start a conversation. (StigmaFree Resources/NAMI)

One major cause of disruptions to mental wellness is relationship abuse, and in my experience, this is a topic of discussion that’s heavily stigmatized. I’ve twice been in situations when a woman showed up to a workplace with a black eye, and both times the women said they had walked into a kitchen cabinet door that had been left open accidentally. Once I was too young to fully understand what might have really happened (I was a child, and the workplace involved was an extracurricular class setting), but even then, the excuse didn’t make sense to me. How likely is it that the countertop underneath the cabinet door wouldn’t keep you far enough away from the door to prevent your face from making contact? In the second instance, I suspected the woman’s husband had punched or hit her, and I offered my support directly, not believing the story about the cabinet door in the least. Unfortunately, she demurred rather than accepting my support.

Relationship abuse doesn’t have to be physical to be damaging. I’ve known four women who have confided in me about emotional abuse they’ve endured in relationships. Interestingly, none of them identified what they were experiencing as abuse. They all said their relationship partner had never hit them, so they didn’t think they were in abusive relationships. I explained that abuse doesn’t have to be physical and that emotional maltreatment is abusive, too. Since my conversations with these women, I’ve learned the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) provides resources to help identify relationship abuse. Had I known about these resources then, I would have shared them with these women. Understanding what constitutes abuse is the first step to identifying when someone is being abused.

Thankfully, three of these four women came to recognize they were being abused and are no longer living with the relationship partners who abused them. One has, unfortunately in my opinion, chosen to stay married and living with her spouse. Of the three who are no longer living with their relationship partners, one is still in a marriage with her spouse, but they are separated. The other two were not married but were living with their relationship partners, and they have since broken up and now live separately.

Although the majority of these women have moved away from their abusive relationship partners, the decision to do so was not easy. All four women have children and/or pets, and their responsibility for them was a factor they mentioned for a reason not to leave their partner or spouse. This is just one factor many abused people face in leaving a relationship partner. The National Center for Health Research has published a list that includes several more. When supporting someone who has confided in you about being affected by abuse, it’s important to recognize the complexity of the situation rather than oversimplifying and assuming it should be easy to leave. Hopefully some of the resources I’ve provided in this blog post will be helpful to you or to the person you are aiming to support.

Although my personal experience with relationship abuse involves women abused by men, it’s important to note that men can be abused as well. In fact, the NDVH offers a resource called “Men Can Be Victims of Abuse Too” that indicates 13 percent of contacts to the hotline are by men who are being abused. This resource acknowledges that an even higher percentage of men may actually experience abuse but do not reach out for assistance.

Whether men or women, those affected by relationship abuse certainly face obstacles to mental wellness. And relationship abuse is just one cause of disruptions to mental wellness. Grief, social isolation, everyday stress, and lack of sleep are some other factors that can affect mental wellness. The National Institutes of Health offers an Emotional Wellness Toolkit that provides a plethora of resources for maintaining mental wellness. I encourage everyone to check it out and use what seems helpful.